Missin' One Guy's

Tommy sat atop his horse in the middle of a clearing with two paths before him, scratched his head and mumbled to Sally.

“Sally, I ain’t too sure ‘bout this. Ya’ know, I thought we was supposed ta take this trail, but I don’t remember nobody tellin’ me nothin’ ‘bout no fork in the road.”

Sally, in an uncharacteristically assertive manner, tugged at the reins and took a few tentative steps, but Tommy pulled her back in.

“Well, now Sally, where ‘bouts do ya’ think yer goin’? We’ve got ta put our heads together on thissun. Now, where’s that map that Ma’ give me?”

Tommy rummaged through his saddle bags without dismounting, and Sally took those few moments to walk toward her preferred path.

“Sally! Why, what in samhill has gotten inta you? Yer turnin’ inta a regular ol’ Joe. That dadburn horse never did mind nobody. Wadn’t no wonder when Pa’ sold him off fer glue, ‘n you’d better just start actin’ right er you’ll be in the same fix as Joe!”

Sally snorted.

Flapping the map open in front of him, Tommy ran his finger back and forth, up and down, and around in circles over the map until he finally decided he should have paid more attention when Mrs. Cole swatted him during geography lessons.

Sally started toward her chosen path for the third time.

“Tarnation Sally! If yer so blamed excited ‘bout what’s down there, we’d better go see what’s down there! Let’s go ya’ ol’ mule.”

With that Tommy gave her the reins and a tiny tap with his heel to encourage her down the right branch. When the pair stepped into a second clearing, Tommy nearly cried. They’d made it to their destination, but far too late for Tommy’s purposes. There was One Guy* standing in front of an empty table rolling up a sign that read, “Free calzones while supplies last!”

Undeterred, Sally tugged at the reins once more redirecting herself while redirecting Tommy’s gaze. When he saw a barn overflowing with hay, and a sign that read, “Free hay while supplies last!” he did cry.

*One Guy from Italy is the only place in Lubbock you ever have to go. If you don't like their calzones, there's something wrong with you. Be sure to get a Big Red while you're at it. ;)