What's Shakin'

I’ve been away for quite a while now – Andy and I have returned to the States and are back in Chicago after a dreamlike month back home. Returning to Chicago at the beginning of a cold and snowy January from a warm and sunny Texas is a bit like slamming your forehead into a brick wall. At least it gives more than granite…

Now for the really exciting news: I’ve decided to change things up a wee bit. I’m going to add book reviews (not book reports – if you want a summary, read the cover). The first few will be Robert Jordan’s first two books in the “Wheel of Time” series, CS Lewis’ lesser known work “Til We All Have Faces” and Dostoyevsky’s “The Idiot”. I’m only doing books I like. =) For now. Some day I’ll finish “Don Quixote” and I will rant and rage about it. I like to think in advance. Years in advance.

I hope you enjoy the additions!

Missin' One Guy's

Tommy sat atop his horse in the middle of a clearing with two paths before him, scratched his head and mumbled to Sally.

“Sally, I ain’t too sure ‘bout this. Ya’ know, I thought we was supposed ta take this trail, but I don’t remember nobody tellin’ me nothin’ ‘bout no fork in the road.”

Sally, in an uncharacteristically assertive manner, tugged at the reins and took a few tentative steps, but Tommy pulled her back in.

“Well, now Sally, where ‘bouts do ya’ think yer goin’? We’ve got ta put our heads together on thissun. Now, where’s that map that Ma’ give me?”

Tommy rummaged through his saddle bags without dismounting, and Sally took those few moments to walk toward her preferred path.

“Sally! Why, what in samhill has gotten inta you? Yer turnin’ inta a regular ol’ Joe. That dadburn horse never did mind nobody. Wadn’t no wonder when Pa’ sold him off fer glue, ‘n you’d better just start actin’ right er you’ll be in the same fix as Joe!”

Sally snorted.

Flapping the map open in front of him, Tommy ran his finger back and forth, up and down, and around in circles over the map until he finally decided he should have paid more attention when Mrs. Cole swatted him during geography lessons.

Sally started toward her chosen path for the third time.

“Tarnation Sally! If yer so blamed excited ‘bout what’s down there, we’d better go see what’s down there! Let’s go ya’ ol’ mule.”

With that Tommy gave her the reins and a tiny tap with his heel to encourage her down the right branch. When the pair stepped into a second clearing, Tommy nearly cried. They’d made it to their destination, but far too late for Tommy’s purposes. There was One Guy* standing in front of an empty table rolling up a sign that read, “Free calzones while supplies last!”

Undeterred, Sally tugged at the reins once more redirecting herself while redirecting Tommy’s gaze. When he saw a barn overflowing with hay, and a sign that read, “Free hay while supplies last!” he did cry.

*One Guy from Italy is the only place in Lubbock you ever have to go. If you don't like their calzones, there's something wrong with you. Be sure to get a Big Red while you're at it. ;)

The Way of Despair

Heaviness stopped her fingers, darkness clogged her mind, the pressure of despair pulled her deep into the earth and she did not fight it. It claimed her, made her its own, wrapped its arms around her, sank its claws into her brain and slowly poured its poison through their hollow tips.

A whisper drifted across the darkness, but she never turned her head. A voice pleaded with her, but she turned to further embrace the night. A warm hand, soft but firm took hold of her own, but she pulled away. And she sank, deeper into the blinding night, drinking in the damp and sorrowful air in great droughts as despair made itself one with her mind and her heart.

With slow, familiar tugs, the earth around her feet took her into itself. As it pulled, she never struggled, opening her arms and entwining herself in an old friend.

Doing [continued]

...continued

One who pays heed to the wind will not sow, and one who watches the clouds will never reap. --Ecclesiastes 11:3-4

After the wedding and the move to Kansas, Tommy was still looking for a job, but nothing really seemed suitable. He'd had several offers, but after the interviews and learning more about the positions, the time commitments, the pay and everything else that went with them, he still couldn't decide which direction he wanted his career to go. He knew he wanted to put himself in a position where he would be able to take care of Jamie, but he wanted to make sure that position would still leave him time to be with her and to raise a family with her. As for Jamie, she was settling in well at the university, and encouraged him to look until he found a good match.

A few months down the road, though, and Tommy was still looking. Finally, exasperated with everything, he took a low end job with no career path at a local non-profit. He hated his position, but he just couldn't decide on anything, and he didn't want to commit his family to anything that wasn't going to pan out.

Tommy bounced from mind-numbing position to brain-freezing position for several years while Jamie successfully completed her degrees and was beginning her own job search. By this time, Tommy was not just worried that a career might be unsuccessful, he was worried he'd be burned out after a few months the same as he had been with every job he'd ever had. He wanted to go back to school. He'd wanted to go back to school since they moved to Kansas, but the same paralysis came over him every time he thought about it. Would he be able to get a better job that way? Would he do well? Would he be good enough to even get a job? Would he even like going to school or in the end would he like the new jobs he could have?

Finally, Jamie found a tenure track position in Boston, and since Tommy's career wasn't quite working out, they moved to the freezing north, with hopes of having children once they were settled. Maybe it was something in the weather, or maybe it was the change of scenery, but a few months after Angela was born, Tommy informed Jamie that he was tired of trying to figure out what was going to happen tomorrow while today was wasting away - he wanted to go back to school and he was going to look for a real job.

While Jamie tried not to let her relief show, she silently vowed to light a few extra candles after Mass.

A few months later, Tommy was enrolled in night and weekend courses while working for a local corporation that specialized in non-profits. He hadn't been this happy since the day he was married, though if you reminded him, he would tell you he hadn't been this happy since the day his baby girl was born.

Doing

One who pays heed to the wind will not sow, and one who watches the clouds will never reap. --Ecclesiastes 11:3-4

Jamie looked out the window for the hundredth time that morning. She simply did not know what to do with her life. Graduation would be coming along in three months, and though she'd filled out applications and interviewed for jobs, she still couldn't make up her mind. With applications to countries across the nation, interviews with corporations around the world, many of them successful, others less so, she still could make no decisions.

As the clouds scudded across a pale blue sky, she sighed, also for the hundredth time, and plopped her head into her hands. She told her boyfriend Tommy that she was so desperate to know which path to take, she was on the verge of going to a palm reader. All he did was laugh and kiss her cheek, then propose she burn everything and run away with him to the Bahamas where they would live for the rest of their lives on coconuts.

She rolled her eyes and reprimanded him, "Tommy you know you can't live on coconuts! We would have to have jobs and a home to live in. Besides, we'd never know which hurricane was going to wipe us and everything we had off the face of the earth!"

"Well, yeah, but you don't know which of these corporations is going to lay you off three months after hiring you or which school is going to make you miserable for the next six years."

"I know! That's the problem! I've got to figure out which one is the least likely to ruin my life!"

Tommy smiled, kissed her forehead and let himself out the door, leaving Jamie staring out the window wishing the clouds could tell her the end of each possible path. Shaking her head in frustration, she followed Tommy out the door, hoping she'd be able to catch him before he made it to his car.

He was just turning the key when she tapped on the passenger side window asking if he wanted to go for a ride. As they drove through town, heading to the dirt roads just on the outskirts, Jamie began, "You know, Tommy, with all this uncertainty about what I should do next with my life, there's one thing that's clear. It's the only certainty I've got right now, and I'm afraid that I might lose it once we've graduated and you go your way and I go mine. I mean, when I'm in who knows where and you're in. Well, you haven't told me where you're going yet." She looked at him quizzically. "Where are you going?"

Laughing, Tom squeezed her hand. "I'm going wherever you're going! Even if it is the Bahamas!"

Jamie's quiet, "Oh," was almost inaudible as she realized what he'd just said.

A few minutes later, she looked at him again, this time as though she could see into his brain, or at least as though that was what she hoped would happen. "Well, then, I guess it doesn't matter where I go. How's about Berkeley?"

"You remember that fall starts in May in Berkeley, right?"

"Oh, good point, well in that case, we should definitely go to the Bahamas," she winked at him. "But, really, what do you think about Kansas?"

"Kansas, good Lord, whatever would I do in Kansas?"

She winked again, "Be with me!"

...to be continued