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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Newsflash: This just in

Chicago Woman Suffocates Leaving Work
Nun says, "She just didn't want to breathe the cold air anymore."

A Chicago woman held her breath today as she left work. She suffocated before she got home. One of her coworkers, a Discalced Carmelite nun, told News9 about a conversation she had with the 27 year old earlier in the day.

"We were talking about how the cold makes it difficult to breathe when you're walking, and she agreed and said that it makes you not want to breathe. I guess she just didn't want to breathe the cold air anymore. It's so sad."

Doctors and scientists are excited about the woman's fete. Usually when a person holds his or her breath for an extended period of time, the body rebels, forcing that person to take a breath. In this instance, those survival mechanisms were somehow overcome.

"This is a most exciting discovery for the medical community. A woman holding her breath until suffocation has never before been documented. This holds great promise for training divers to hold their breath longer," said Dr. Pierre Cousteau (University of Paris, France).

While the scientific community remains baffled, others are not so surprised.

When interviewed, the woman's supervisor said she was from Texas, adding he was not surprised she was able to hold her breath "because you know how stubborn those Texans are."

The Texas native leaves behind a husband and 10 children who are still wondering when mommy is coming home.

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