That was almost helpful

"It was a dark and stormy night," she read Snoopy type. Suddenly, the front door swung open and a hulking man walked through.

"'Morning, Honey," the figure said.

"Hey, Sweetie. I guess the sidewalk's clear? Or at least for 5 more minutes," she half-snorted.

"Yeah, and I got a angry pinch in my back. Look at me! I look like a gorilla!"

At that, she stopped trying to read Peanuts and finally focused on her husband, only to realize he was dragging the shovel across the carpet!

"Honey! What are you doing?! You can't just drag the shovel across the carpet!"

"Well, maybe you would like to stop reading the Funnies and come over here and help me!"

With that, she hopped up, snatched the shovel and took it to the garage, leaving her husband doubled over like a wilted flower. A large wilted flower. Maybe a tree sized flower. Done helping her husband, she returned to her seat and picked up the Sunday's comics right where she'd left off, satisfied with having protected her carpet from impending disaster.